Inside the Fiberglass Head of Frank Sidebottom

frank

Frank is a movie about a guy (one of the Weasley brothers from Harry Potter) who joins an experimental jam band fronted by a singer (Fassbender) who never takes off this fake cartoon head.  Here were some of my thoughts while I was watching it:

1. Shut the front door, this Frank guy was FO’ REAL?

The real guy inside the head

The real guy inside the head

Turns out that this movie is loosely based on actual events. One of the writers was hired as the temporary keyboardist for Frank Sidebottom’s band, which is exactly where the movie begins. Chris Sievey was the lead singer of a Brit punk band called The Freshies and the creator of the character of Frank Sidebottom which he performed as in the 80’s. You don’t say!

2. I’ve never seen Maggie Gyllenhaal play someone who was normal.

And it wasn’t going to change tonight while watching Frank. Maggie Gyllenhaal plays a band member who is caught up in the enigma that is her big-headed band leader, and feels threatened by the new keyboardist brought along to record their new album. She’s great… I get it… but sometimes watching someone like her makes me tired. She’s so intense and feel feelings so hardcore… we get it, Maggie. You do that part well. Maybe stretch your acting chops a bit and play someone on the other end of the spectrum. I obviously have not seen you in White House Down, so maybe that was you downplaying the high strung artsy type? I dunno.

3. I’d still fuck Frank Fassbender.

frank

Yeah I said it. Just because he has a fake head on the entire time, don’t think that didn’t stop me from objectifying Michael Fassbender. He has great hands and the longest fingers. His neck is great too, great sexy clavicle. He wears a lot of tank tops in this movie, and occasionally there’s a nip-slip, ladies. He also has a great Mr. Roger’s sweater collection… THAT HE WEARS WITH A GIGANTIC HEAD. What am I thinking? Ugh, but then he speaks German in a scene and then it’s like “Ich möchte Ihre gefälschte Kopf küssen, Fassbender!”

4. Oh wait, I actually kinda like this song.

After a while, you kind of forget about the head thing and realize that this movie is about the dynamics of a band trying to record an album under the cult-like leadership of their lead singer. I’m not saying he’s L. Ron Hubbard, but the band members definitely vie for his attention and respect his “genius” when it comes to creating music. They’re isolated somewhere in the woods in Ireland, making their own instruments, recording weird sounds… but the music actually worked in a weird “I listen to a lot of synth pop and Gary Numan” kind of way. I might actually hunt down the soundtrack if it ever comes out. Also, the actual score juxtaposes the band’s style of music. A lot of xylophone, tamborine… I think maybe there was a kazoo in there. Anyway, the music alone is worth checking out. And all the actors are actually performing live to the camera in the movie… so… that’s kinda rad.

5. Guys, Michael Fassbender can sing.

I’m not shitting you. He has a really good voice. It’s like a cross of… well here, you judge for yourself.

 

Manic Music Mondays: There Is Such Thing As “Beat Deafness”?

I can’t dance. Plain and simple. So when I see people that have a lot of hand/eye/booty/feet coordination, I’m always in awe.

Oh trust me, I’ve tried. I took a good three years of modern dance in college (not by choice. It was part of the curriculum.) And that was a good three years of flailing around in my most awkward state of life, still trying to figure out how my elbows and knees worked. I even once took a hip hop class, only to sit out the majority of it, while I watched 6-year-old Filipino girls pop-n-lock their way past me.
So as a music lover, I’m conflicted in how to enjoy music because it does move me (figuratively and literally). But in my enjoyment of a good song, I end up looking like a person with epilepsy (no offense to people with epilepsy… you guys are AMAZING dancers.) Apparently it’s a real problem called “Beat Deafness” and you can read all about it here at this NBC link.

Here are some music videos that have some awesome dance moves in it. Yes, I’ve attempted to do some of them and no, they were never anywhere outside my bedroom,

This one blows my god damn mind:

Remember Fatima? She used to be the choreographer to all the pop stars in the late 90’s? She choreographed Haim in this video and I love it.

In dance class, we learned about “Pedestrian Movement”, which means dance made of sort of everyday movements that everyone can do, regardless of your training. Yeah, so when I was at the airport and tried to recreate this video, I realized that these are not pedestrian movements. And people really hate when you try to walk backwards on these things.

This is just a great video.

An Open Letter to the Future: You’re Doomed For Life

I was invited to participate in Project: Open Letter to the Future, where you write to a teenager giving life advice. I forgot about it, had to whip something up in 15 minutes and still managed to send it in 10 minutes late because I was too busy reading Buzzfeed articles and rating dudes on OKCupid. This should already be a sign that I probably shouldn’t give life advice to young people.

CaptureSorry, Future!

 

Live Reading of Space Jam = Dream Come True

There was a time in my life when I was actually into basketball. Yep. So much that when I turned 14, I was given a puppy and I wanted to name him Michael Jordan. My Dad said it was too long of a name, and that a dog would never recognize so many syllables. So my Dad settled for Runt. The dog grew up to be a small diabetic cow, but at least he knew his name. Where was I going with this…? Right, I used to be really into basketball. I used to watch it, I used to (try to) play it, and every weekend for two years, my Dad and I would shoot hoops at any empty basketball court we could find. So you can only imagine HOW HARD I WISH I WAS IN THIS ROOM when the live reading of Space Jam happened!

Seth Green’s take on Bugs Bunny is brilliant. I dunno who Blake Griffith is, but he’s hot and is probably just as good of an actor as Michael Jordan. DeAndre Jordan does a mean Charles Barkley impression. And there’s Ben Schwartz and the guy from Human Giant with the gap between his teeth and Kroll…. oh Kroll. You can watch a longer clip from Funny or Die via Vulture.

Manic Music Monday: That Song Is Dope(-amine)!

When it comes to science, I don’t think that part of my brain ever fully developed. Seriously, I think I still have a soft spot in my skull where your brain is supposed to do things like “compute” and “measure” and… “figure shit out using numbers”. But I did enjoy this video about how and why we enjoy and seek out good tunes. It’s sort of scientific, leaning towards the biology side of the spectrum.

Kids, stay off drugs. Instead, listen to the Manic Mondays playlist on my Spotify profile. Share music with me and maybe the next Music Monday will be dedicated to your tune!