Things I Only Cry At While I’m PMSing

1. Youtube videos of rescue lions being reunited with their human rescuers. It’s a god damn roller coaster of emotions. This clip is only 48 seconds long, yet I lost 5 years off my life watching it… and felt like I had a baby at the same time.

0:00-0:05 “Oh cool… a guy and a lion.”
0:06-0:14 “Whoa, so homey is trying to open the cage?”
0:15-0:19 “Um… okay, dude, the lion is like pacing. That’s what they do when they’re about to get fed meat. I’ve been to the zoo.”
0:20-0:21 “Don’t open the cage.”
0:22-0:24 “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THE LION IS CHARGING! HIS FACE IS GOING TO BE EATEN OFF HIS FACE AND HE’S GONNA LOOK LIKE GUS FRING IN THAT ONE EPISODE OF BREAKING BAD!”
0:25-0:39 “Ohhhhh, tsk. Guys, they like love each other.”
0:40-0:48 *sobbing*

2. Rufus Wainwright songs. Especially “I Don’t Know What It Is”, which is exactly the explanation I have for my hormones during PMS week.

 

3. Thinking that Bill Murray died because Groundhog’s Day, Ghostbusters 2, and Rushmore were all playing on cable TV at the same time. You know they only do that when someone’s died

In Loving Memory...

In Loving Memory…

4. Painting. Because I’m so happy I get to do it or because I’m so frustrated that nothing is resembling what is in my mind palace. Or both.

5.¬†When you have very specific cravings but you’re too moody/lazy/grumpy to make it, so you end up eating something that just IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT. So you just stand in the kitchen with a saucepan in one hand and a tomato in the other and just bawl your brains out because “This isn’t how you make pizza!!!”

 

 

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